After the IVF

Nothing like a little free time to get those blogging juices going. The entry below is a response to an entry by Galloping Cat on Breastfeeding. I may have already blogged about this, but I thought it would help anyone out there who might be struggling with BF'ing

Yeah, just when I thought BF was going well, I would get a plugged duct or some kind of horrible engorement. I hated breastfeeding, especially being awake at 2:30 Am with engorged breast (I had one good breast and one crazy breast) and the baby deciding to pick that night to sleep thru with me pondering whether to pump (to relieve the PAIN) or just cry and suffer thru. I also remembering surfing on the internet to distract myself while massage a bad plugged duct one night.

I worked M-F 8-3 with 2 pumping sessions and did it for 5 months. I think I made it that long because the was the longest time period any of my girlfriends did it. That competitive B*Tch in me...

I agree with you on the natural thing...I wonder if I could have lasted longer if I was a SAHM and never pumped. I was really great at pumping though...I had a Medela PIS as well as an Avent Isis. I could pump anywhere...work, car, etc. The thing I didn't hate was that the baby seemed to really enjoy it and had this strong rooting reflex (for ALL females actually).

One book that really helped a lot was The Nursing Mother's Companion. I had the pamphlet form that came free with my hospital stuff and eventually I bought the book when I decided to go longer than 2 months. It could be a breastfeeding nazi book, but it actually is a very useful, accurate, and practical guide.

Just finished a great book...the title is above and the author is Risa Green. It is a sequel to Notes from the Underbelly, a book I one day just bought randomly at the bookstore. The 1st one dealt with being pregnant and the sequel is the aftermath of having a baby. The main character lives in LA, has a working dh, and is on leave for most of the book from her job. It is really funny and sometimes I got exasperated with her, but she is my kind of gal. There are some really funny lines and terms in the novel, one being "mommunist," which she uses to describe all the mommy clones in her Mommy & Me class (they all drive range rovers, have $800 Bugaboo strollers, and all plan to be stay at home moms). I enjoy taking a peek into her particular mommy world, quite different from mine (I don't think there is a Mommy & Me class within a 500 mile radius of my town). But I do like the points the book makes as the main character realizes there is no one way to do it and that if you try to force yourself into a certain mold, it may make you unhappy and that it may not be the best thing to do you for child.

I know I have had struggles with that as I have been adapting into my Mom role. The end of the book has some discussion/ interview with the author and she brings up an interesting point about motherhood and how it has affected some members of this particular generation. That more of us have lives before we become moms (esp if we have kids in 30s and 40s) and that we need to realize that although we may love having a child, we need to acknowledge that we mourn for our past lives. In previous generations, she notes, many women went from being a member of one household/ family (daughter) and into another (wife. mother) without having the "single" or "married without kids" life.

I got my 1st mother's day card today. It was from my parents and it touched me that they sent me this funny, quite wonderful card. I remember sitting in church about 5 years ago in the front in the choir loft. It was Mother's day. They did the whole oldest, youngest, most kids, etc. and all the mothers in the church got flowers. I was single, divorced about a year, not really looking, but on that Sunday I really wanted to be presented with one of those scraggly carnations. I wasn't even married or trying, or even had any inkling I would be dealing with infertility at some future point. I felt that ache. I guess that's the biological clock. The church I go to now celebrates all women on that day, mothers and daughters and everyone gets a flower. And now I am someone's mother.

I have been such a bag blogger...letting so much time lapse again. I'll blame it on my hormones. I just finshed one of the worst periods of my life. Blood everywhere, super tampon + super pad every 2-3 hours for 3 days, cramps, severe pain on my right side in the middle of the night (almost as bad as labor), Motrin, motrin, motrin (clock watching...is it time to take more Motrin?). I even worried about an ectopic pregnancy and checked my own blood at my clinic for anemia and my thyroid. Negative on the pregnancy thing, and stone cold normal blood work...even high end of normal on my hemoglobin (no anemia). So it was just crappy crappy menstrual pain. Makes me feel so wimpy.

Did I even ovulate? Possibly as my last blog entry, about ovulation time, found me hormonally horny. For years I had the luxury of the nice calm periods that come with using oral contraceptives. Now I am all natural woman. Arggghhh!!! How about a healthy pregnancy and baby without the use of IVF/ intervention and I can deal with this until menopause?