Saturday, December 04, 2004
Emotional cocktail
When I got my BFP, I had a feeling of peace and joy that everything was all right in the world. I had cheated and did a HPT the day before my serum Beta to prepare myself psychologically for a negative. I kept blinking at the + sign in the window and looked up literature on the internet to make sure that that really meant positive. Little did I know that it was not over yet. The wait between the 1st and 2nd serum Betas was an emotional rollercoaster that was helped along with having to cancel my plans to see my folks at Thanksgiving and spotting the day after the 1st BFP (and for a few days more). The 2nd Beta was fine and my spotting ceased when the progesterone suppositories were stopped.
It is true that typing "brown discharge early pregnancy" on Google will get you anything from "Normal" to "I had a miscarriage" so the internet was really no help. I had to speak to my doctor before I felt calmer.
The 2ww was bad, but there are even more waits ahead. For me, the 11 day wait before the 1st ultrasound. Then I hear there will be another wait for the 2nd ultrasounds. It is, of course, infinately better than the aftermath of a BFN or a cancelled IVF cycle, but in someways more at stake in terms of number of lives.
It is true that typing "brown discharge early pregnancy" on Google will get you anything from "Normal" to "I had a miscarriage" so the internet was really no help. I had to speak to my doctor before I felt calmer.
The 2ww was bad, but there are even more waits ahead. For me, the 11 day wait before the 1st ultrasound. Then I hear there will be another wait for the 2nd ultrasounds. It is, of course, infinately better than the aftermath of a BFN or a cancelled IVF cycle, but in someways more at stake in terms of number of lives.
