Thursday, June 29, 2006
The Holiday Weekend
Everyone has been asking me how I plan to spend my 4th of July holiday weekend. Well, I admit, it has not been at the top of my list because this weekend, the holiday celebration I am looking forward to is my daughter's 1st birthday party. The folks are gathering for a party and I am making sure we have enough spoons for the ice cream (Oh crap, I need to remember to buy ice cream). A year ago tonight, I was lying on the couch (bedrest) watching Lemony Snicket, unknowing that I would go into labor at 2 AM 5 1/2 weeks early. A year ago tomorrow, I would be looking at my new daughter. So here I am on the brink of the celebrations for the birth of our great country and the birth of my 1st child, what a great weekend to look forward to!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
My new favorite song
Oooooh...it's Paris Hilton's Stars are Blind...JUST KIDDING
It is Nelly Furtado's Say It Right. Really cool beat...hear it is produced by Timbaland, apparently big in the hip hop world. Anyway, I LIKE it. Kind of reminds me of the music in the belly dancing class I took once.
I wish I was smart enough to figure out how to broadcast it on my blog.
It is Nelly Furtado's Say It Right. Really cool beat...hear it is produced by Timbaland, apparently big in the hip hop world. Anyway, I LIKE it. Kind of reminds me of the music in the belly dancing class I took once.
I wish I was smart enough to figure out how to broadcast it on my blog.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Eleemosynary
I took my dh to a chick play last night and it was great. It was a 3 woman play with very minimilist costuming and set design. Basically it addresses 3 generations of women, their love, their frustrations with what they can't have, and how they deal with it. The grandma wanted to go to college, but was forced to marry and bear children instead. The mom wanted to have a baby (at 18), but was forced to abort and go to school instead. The daughter wanted to be with her mother, but because of the mother's anger at grandma, is left to be raised by grandma. It was really well done and I think it really reflects many women's lives to some degree or another.
Mothering is often not done by the mother. I think of my grandmothers. I didn't know one because she died when I was young, but she had 8 kids and most were distributed among relatives to live with for most of their lives. This was not because she was uncaring but because of Chinese custom and the circumstances of World War II. The other grandmother was widowed in her 30s with 3 kids and went to work, also distributing the kids to various relatives. I have heard that she never remarried because she felt that the kids were a burden. I cannot judge them, they did what they had to do to survive. Both their situations produced children, my parents who when they 1st married, made a conscious decision not to have children. When they did want to have children, they made a conscious decision to be parents who would be the main adults in their lives and not go through what they had to go through.
I cried during the play at the parts when the mother leaves her daughter, when she talked about leaving her daughter, and tried to push her away repeatedly. I am sure it is the part of me that knows my own child is such a gift and blessing and that I could not bear to be away from her, in an emotional sense.
Mothering is often not done by the mother. I think of my grandmothers. I didn't know one because she died when I was young, but she had 8 kids and most were distributed among relatives to live with for most of their lives. This was not because she was uncaring but because of Chinese custom and the circumstances of World War II. The other grandmother was widowed in her 30s with 3 kids and went to work, also distributing the kids to various relatives. I have heard that she never remarried because she felt that the kids were a burden. I cannot judge them, they did what they had to do to survive. Both their situations produced children, my parents who when they 1st married, made a conscious decision not to have children. When they did want to have children, they made a conscious decision to be parents who would be the main adults in their lives and not go through what they had to go through.
I cried during the play at the parts when the mother leaves her daughter, when she talked about leaving her daughter, and tried to push her away repeatedly. I am sure it is the part of me that knows my own child is such a gift and blessing and that I could not bear to be away from her, in an emotional sense.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Cat Cat
This picture just sums it all up. Happiness, sunshine, and a good pal to watch your back (front, in this case).
Friday, June 09, 2006
De Cluttering
I whacked off my hair...I think it was because it is really hot right now, I am sick of wearing ponytails and buns, and since all my hair fell out postpartum I wanted to let it grow and now that it is think and lush, I feel secure in wearing it shortrer. Now I feel that surge of energy to clean my house. Maybe it is hormonal, maybe because I've had some work stress and cleaning is my way to keeping in control.
Things are just things, but there is always a fear of getting rid of something I don't need. I notice that some of the things I treasure I misplace or just leave laying about and things that I really don't need I keep in handy places and tucked in places where my treasured things should be. How screwed up is that? Well I guess that is the game I have to learn how to play (i.e. don't let photos be in places they could be coasters, chewed up by the cat or drooled on by the baby).
Well, I have the urge to reorganize my bookshelf before I go to bed.
CIAO
Things are just things, but there is always a fear of getting rid of something I don't need. I notice that some of the things I treasure I misplace or just leave laying about and things that I really don't need I keep in handy places and tucked in places where my treasured things should be. How screwed up is that? Well I guess that is the game I have to learn how to play (i.e. don't let photos be in places they could be coasters, chewed up by the cat or drooled on by the baby).
Well, I have the urge to reorganize my bookshelf before I go to bed.
CIAO
Fun Family Time
(Side note...I finally got my haircut today. It was just a mess...I was becoming BUN woman it was so long. I chopped it...so freeing)
My little family went to the wonderful city of San Antonio, Texas last weekend. If you have never been to Texas, this is the city to go visit. It's really the only city in Texas that I consider a tourist destination. It also really shows the culture of our state, a blend of American, Mexican, German, etc. We stayed near the Mexican marketplace and the Riverwalk. The baby had such a fun time at the Mexican restaurant looking at all the lights, pinatas, and enjoying the mariachi guitar music. I have been here so many times, but I enjoy it every time I come. When she is older, I am sure we will be visiting Sea World and Fiesta Texas (Six Flags).
My little family went to the wonderful city of San Antonio, Texas last weekend. If you have never been to Texas, this is the city to go visit. It's really the only city in Texas that I consider a tourist destination. It also really shows the culture of our state, a blend of American, Mexican, German, etc. We stayed near the Mexican marketplace and the Riverwalk. The baby had such a fun time at the Mexican restaurant looking at all the lights, pinatas, and enjoying the mariachi guitar music. I have been here so many times, but I enjoy it every time I come. When she is older, I am sure we will be visiting Sea World and Fiesta Texas (Six Flags).
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Dysfunctional workplace
I have been trying valiantly to rehabilitate an aging medical clinic with a dysfunctional staff for the past 6 months. I am not alone in my task, a hardworking and smart manager has been there to work on the non medical issues. We have come a long way in the last 6 months. We have had a tremendous staff turnover and most of the new people and people who have stayed are wonderful employees. There are a few bad apples still left, and while they are soon to be gone, they have still on many occasions really messed things up for everyone else. My counterpart is burning out and I felt a little saddened and less confident today to think that I might have to continue on with less time from her or without her.
Maybe it was the way I was brought up or maybe I am just puzzled by the fact that many people take their jobs for granted and don't really care about doing a haphazard job. It's hard to understand why someone in the medical profession, especially, would not really care about they are doing. I mean, we are responsible for people's lives. Even though I am the "big cheese" in the clinic, I feel very priviledged to be working there. I am really proud that people choose to come seek our help when they are sick or well. As this blog mainly deals with women who have to navigate the medical clinics in search of fertility, you would understand how important it is to have medical staff (from receptionist to doctor) that cares about what they are doing.
Well, I can only pray that we can continue to improve our services to our patients and get rid ot the bad elements still present.
Maybe it was the way I was brought up or maybe I am just puzzled by the fact that many people take their jobs for granted and don't really care about doing a haphazard job. It's hard to understand why someone in the medical profession, especially, would not really care about they are doing. I mean, we are responsible for people's lives. Even though I am the "big cheese" in the clinic, I feel very priviledged to be working there. I am really proud that people choose to come seek our help when they are sick or well. As this blog mainly deals with women who have to navigate the medical clinics in search of fertility, you would understand how important it is to have medical staff (from receptionist to doctor) that cares about what they are doing.
Well, I can only pray that we can continue to improve our services to our patients and get rid ot the bad elements still present.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
My alter ego(s)
I got so excited when I saw Frances's avatar on her blog. I just had to get one. This one is my alter ego as an American Idol Contestant/ Famous Rock Star. It is someone I would like to be sometimes. Nevermind that I am too old for American Idol, can't sing that well (some of those contestants can't either!), and get carsick easily (bad for tour bus riding). But, hey screaming crowds in the palm of your hand and stylists to help you with your look and music, sweet music all around. I am totally in.
