Tuesday, December 07, 2004
H is for Hormone, H is for Homicidal
In the potent cocktail of hormones and magical medical manipulation of modern ivf therapy, I discovered powerful feelings I have never experienced before. I had always been on birth control pills for most of my reproductive life to control my irregular/ absent periods, and missed out on mood swings and PMS. My husband's courting and marriage to me was done in times of carefully level hormone levels and cheerful, even moods.
Then IVF. Lupron, progesterone, estrogen, BHcg, and more all helped turn me, on some days, from Dr. Jekyl to Mr. Hyde (or is that the other way around?) Once or twice, I've had some distinctly strong feelings of wanting to hit something or kill someone. My best friend, an OB doctor herself (and who believes Progesterone can be evil), acknowledged my feelings and reminded me of how to get to the nearest ER if things got out of hand. Another close friend of mine is a psychiatrist who works with the prison population. She believes half the women in prison are likely there because of hormonal surges, especially the ones that are there for murder.
Thankfully, my other superpowers of compassion, goodwill for the world, Christian beliefs, brisk walks around the block, and generally a level head kept me from doing anything beyond snapping at DH for a minor transgression or crying in my soup at dinner. So beware the Hellish Hormones.
Then IVF. Lupron, progesterone, estrogen, BHcg, and more all helped turn me, on some days, from Dr. Jekyl to Mr. Hyde (or is that the other way around?) Once or twice, I've had some distinctly strong feelings of wanting to hit something or kill someone. My best friend, an OB doctor herself (and who believes Progesterone can be evil), acknowledged my feelings and reminded me of how to get to the nearest ER if things got out of hand. Another close friend of mine is a psychiatrist who works with the prison population. She believes half the women in prison are likely there because of hormonal surges, especially the ones that are there for murder.
Thankfully, my other superpowers of compassion, goodwill for the world, Christian beliefs, brisk walks around the block, and generally a level head kept me from doing anything beyond snapping at DH for a minor transgression or crying in my soup at dinner. So beware the Hellish Hormones.
