Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Fertility and the American woman
Every few years, there are cautionary articles published about how women wait too late to have babies because of careers and how doomed they are. These articles have their good points in that fertility does truly change as women age and may be a wake up call for those few of us who were truly in the dark about having kids. But, I suspect, for the rest of us, it is just adds to our insecurity about being a woman. The articles usually never really explain truly in detail why all this late age childbearing is happening, only, at worst, seeming to imply that women who wait to have children are selfish and foolish.
I want to write a different, more detailed view of why all this is an issue now, with FACTS, not just opinion.
1. Women make up the majority of college students in the U.S. now.
2. In medical school and law school, it is at least 50/50 in most schools in the gender ratio.
3. Most employers do not have paid maternity leave and even those who are unpaid, 6 weeks is the best most get. FMLA provides for 12 weeks unpaid leave, but many of us work in small businesses that don't have to abide by FMLA.
4. Daycare is usually not available at one's place of work. Sick daycare is even rarer.
5. Average age of marriage for both women and men have risen in the last 30 years, now being 26 for women and 28 for men.
6. Reliable, affordable birth control is available to let women choose when they will have kids.
7. Nearly two-thirds of women in the United States with a child under age one are in the paid labor force.
So let's put this into a few scenarios
Sally A. enters college at 18, law school at 23, clerks for a BIG firm for 3-4 years until she quits, moves up, or gets fired. She's had reliable birth control, a few boyfriends, even a fiancee who has just proposed. She marries at age 28 (takes a year to plan a wedding). Because of a downturn in the economy, she must continue working full time as her husband is a low income documentary film maker. At 30, they decide to start having kids.
Amanda P. is a brillant scientist who graduates from college at 23, enters a prestigious PhD program and takes 6 years to finish as her Professor/ mentor decides to relocate in the middle of her project and she must move to Chicago to finish her degree. She takes a post-doc position with the US government, moving to Maryland. At 30, she takes a job at a Southern college, the 1st woman in her department in the history of the university. The next 3 years are spent writing grants and securing funding as well as building up her department and projects. In her spare time, she is active in her church. She meets her husband there and they marry, she is 33.
Melody M. is a 24 year old nurse who is the indispensible right hand of Dr. H. She is married to her high school sweetheart and they decide to have a child. She requests a maternity leave of 6 weeks. At 2 weeks in, her boss calls her and asks her to hurry up and get back to work as the place is falling apart. She compromises and says she will be there at 4 weeks. With her next child, she leaves her job and does not return until 7 years later when her children are in full day school.
I know there are no easy answers, but I think people need to stop fooling themselves that women are bad because they aren't all child bearing in their 20s. It is not because women are selfish, but that they are not really in a system that supports early child bearing. I don't really want to go back to the old "1950s" system where only men got to have interesting careers and the perks of a stay at home wife, but you can't expect to have a 1950s life in the year 2005. I say, live in the present and find compromises/ solutions to help people have work and life balanced.
I want to write a different, more detailed view of why all this is an issue now, with FACTS, not just opinion.
1. Women make up the majority of college students in the U.S. now.
2. In medical school and law school, it is at least 50/50 in most schools in the gender ratio.
3. Most employers do not have paid maternity leave and even those who are unpaid, 6 weeks is the best most get. FMLA provides for 12 weeks unpaid leave, but many of us work in small businesses that don't have to abide by FMLA.
4. Daycare is usually not available at one's place of work. Sick daycare is even rarer.
5. Average age of marriage for both women and men have risen in the last 30 years, now being 26 for women and 28 for men.
6. Reliable, affordable birth control is available to let women choose when they will have kids.
7. Nearly two-thirds of women in the United States with a child under age one are in the paid labor force.
So let's put this into a few scenarios
Sally A. enters college at 18, law school at 23, clerks for a BIG firm for 3-4 years until she quits, moves up, or gets fired. She's had reliable birth control, a few boyfriends, even a fiancee who has just proposed. She marries at age 28 (takes a year to plan a wedding). Because of a downturn in the economy, she must continue working full time as her husband is a low income documentary film maker. At 30, they decide to start having kids.
Amanda P. is a brillant scientist who graduates from college at 23, enters a prestigious PhD program and takes 6 years to finish as her Professor/ mentor decides to relocate in the middle of her project and she must move to Chicago to finish her degree. She takes a post-doc position with the US government, moving to Maryland. At 30, she takes a job at a Southern college, the 1st woman in her department in the history of the university. The next 3 years are spent writing grants and securing funding as well as building up her department and projects. In her spare time, she is active in her church. She meets her husband there and they marry, she is 33.
Melody M. is a 24 year old nurse who is the indispensible right hand of Dr. H. She is married to her high school sweetheart and they decide to have a child. She requests a maternity leave of 6 weeks. At 2 weeks in, her boss calls her and asks her to hurry up and get back to work as the place is falling apart. She compromises and says she will be there at 4 weeks. With her next child, she leaves her job and does not return until 7 years later when her children are in full day school.
I know there are no easy answers, but I think people need to stop fooling themselves that women are bad because they aren't all child bearing in their 20s. It is not because women are selfish, but that they are not really in a system that supports early child bearing. I don't really want to go back to the old "1950s" system where only men got to have interesting careers and the perks of a stay at home wife, but you can't expect to have a 1950s life in the year 2005. I say, live in the present and find compromises/ solutions to help people have work and life balanced.
