Saturday, September 10, 2005
Losing it, almost
I started back to work full time (a close approximation of it as labor day was a holiday) and things were going pretty well until Thursday. I had to go to the hospital to check on one of my patients who was in bad shape in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall asleep when I got back. The baby's routine was not disrupted...I didn't even miss her feedings, but for some reason my mind was jumpy and racing. The next day, I had to work 3 hours in the morning, but I was feeling the effects of the lack of sleep by lunchtime.
By the afternoon (even after a brief nap) I was emotional and teary, especially when I had to go back up to the hospital about 20 minutes after the nanny left. I couldn't get a hold of my dh as he was out of his office on an errand, but did get grandma who was quickly on her way over. I got my work done and was home in less than 2 hours. The baby continued to be just fine and dandy. I just felt so terrible, physically, emotionally, almost over the edge. Looking back it wasn't that big a deal, but deprived of a foundation of sleep, I couldn't deal with it at all. This situation is rare actually but it just happened to occur in my 1st week back. After a better nights sleep (even with every 3-4 hour nursing) I was back to normal (semi!) this morning. I am just glad I survived and glad I had people to call on to help me.
I don't regret going back to work, but I should have been more prepared in my attitude that things don't always go as planned....and also find a short acting sleeping pill to use as needed! And to be realistic as I know tend to have anxiety problems when I don't get enough sleep.
By the afternoon (even after a brief nap) I was emotional and teary, especially when I had to go back up to the hospital about 20 minutes after the nanny left. I couldn't get a hold of my dh as he was out of his office on an errand, but did get grandma who was quickly on her way over. I got my work done and was home in less than 2 hours. The baby continued to be just fine and dandy. I just felt so terrible, physically, emotionally, almost over the edge. Looking back it wasn't that big a deal, but deprived of a foundation of sleep, I couldn't deal with it at all. This situation is rare actually but it just happened to occur in my 1st week back. After a better nights sleep (even with every 3-4 hour nursing) I was back to normal (semi!) this morning. I am just glad I survived and glad I had people to call on to help me.
I don't regret going back to work, but I should have been more prepared in my attitude that things don't always go as planned....and also find a short acting sleeping pill to use as needed! And to be realistic as I know tend to have anxiety problems when I don't get enough sleep.
