After the IVF

Still here and kicking…tonight I am kind of tired and melancholy. I have been like that today. Maybe it is the cloudy and chilly weather (yesterday the high was 81, today it was 30). I got a brochure in the mail about a medical conference in San Diego and I was having fantasies about going there alone. Then I had thoughts about taking everyone along. Then I just chunked the brochure in the trash…if I am going to San Diego, it will be for fun and not a conference. When the baby is older and can enjoy a trip more, we will go. I am feeling some guilt for having these feelings though I know it is perfectly normal. I have a lot of help, although I wish I had more help sometimes, especially from dh. And I don’t really know why I am saying that, because he does help me when I ask. Maybe I should ask more. Anyway he has been working a lot and has plenty to do. I am going to soak my thought away in the tub now with a good magazine.